treated invisibly... cool?

I just want to remain silence.
Not feel like care so much.
I wish to stop it!
Wish to shout out loud & let the wind blow away!

I'm not who am I.
Indeed. I don't know what playing in my mind.
I need some air refreshment to free my mind.
Refresh myself.
If i were a computer, so wish to just click an refresh icon.
Then everything will be fresh and brand new.



I love the wind to hit on my face and free my mind =)

-doR-

Recently, my hostel move in one elder lady at age around 40 - 50.
At 1st, we thought she is nice and easy going person, but all turn the other way round.
1 day, she came to us and told us that she wanted to share the new gas because she wanted to boil her chinese medicine.
So, we said we will inform her.
The day has come, she told us that she had already bought new TWO gas but not one.
We got shocked, she told us that she don't have any contact number from anyone of us.
But, according to my housemate, she had gave her the contact number before the incident, why did she said she don't have any?
Then she keep asking us that how are we going to pay for the gas? NO! actually she first asked usually how much you guys bought for the gas?? If we didn't tell you how much, so what are going to tell us??
Fine, i said, we plan to divide this way, the elder lady paid RM10, and then the other two room will pay RM12.
She pause. OK! She kept crab all the nonsense and refuse to respond.
Fine, i kept quiet. Then she said we divide into 5 person, then she will paid extra RM5.
Guys, count and see. Whats the different between the plan with her taught?? OK, fine! If count so, she will only need to pay RM9.40. Different in only RM0.60.
Then i told her is actually the same. Same concept.
But she can't accept it. She felt that she pay the most.
Hey, you are the one that need to use a lot. You need to boil your medicine, and not for a while, is for some times. We just use for drinking water.
Because of this, she ask pay us more. Of course we refused as we don't use much, if we used much, yes we can do so.
I don't understand her, why must she bother with this 60 cent and make the whole thing go serious???
She said she don't mind anymore, but she kept disturb my housemate, and said my roommate and i not an easy going person, unreasonable person.
Since she kept disturbing, my friend and i decided to personally paid her RM5 and make it everyone fair.
My thought was instead of paying her RM5, we pay her! When wanna pay her, wow! Drama again!
She said don't care anymore, what has paid mean paid!
Oh yeah! Why do you still kept bother my housemate????
ERGH!!
I don't know!! This is my very first time being so rude to the elder!!!
I don't want to do so but she forced me!!
Ya, honestly, i've been shouted at her. I don't know why i did that...
Honestly, i really don't know...
Just feel that i can't communicate nicely with her at all! Seriously, at all!!
Everything was being too late now, what happened had happened...
I really just can let it be this way.
Is OK! She can think that I'm unreasonable, irrational or whatever!
Just go away from my life!! I don't want to continue being so rude with you!
Seriously, I do really feel guilty after this incident.
I know that i should not treat her this way, just i can't control myself...
Should change my attitude now!
What i can do now is just shut up no matter in what incident.
Just hope that i can really do so.
I'm trying to be positive now.
Just help me get rid of this =(




I'm under stress in everything.

-dor0